Scholar and Sailor

SPF Love

2011-06-29T16:14:00.003-05:00

Sometimes I wonder if I am really too maniacal about my use of sunscreen....but then I saw someone who came back from a 5-day vacay in the Bahamas and burned her eyelids to a red, puffy crisp. Peeling eyelids ain't pretty, people. Yikes!!

I'm sticking with my SPF 30, thankyouverymuch.

A friendly face

2011-05-26T09:42:00.002-05:00

Something about my face says "TALK TO ME, KIDS!" this week.

Three times - three times - in the last week, an adorable under-10 person has stopped whatever they were doing and run after me to say....."Hi." Once I was on my bicycle and a little guy in cowboy boots and a tie ran over to the side of the road and said "Hi!!!!!" with a giant wave.

Another afternoon, I was running through the park. A little girl near the path stopped playing soccer with her friend - literally dropped her ball, RAN over to me, stopped and looked at me - and said..."Hi!!!!" again with the giant wave. I got the big "Hi!!!!" from another kid on the train, too.

Then again, there was also a woman who asked me for some change. When I said I didn't have any (I didn't) and offered her some food instead, she responded with, "Stick it up your ******, you ****!"

So you know, I guess it takes all kinds.

Yoga

2011-03-27T20:25:00.005-05:00

Pigeon pose is my personal nemesis. If you're not familiar with it, here's a little example (above). (Nope, that's not me - I didn't become a blond and I don't look that serene while doing this).

My teacher said we store your anger in your hip joints. So, you might start to feel slightly, ahem, ANGRY about the stretching sensations during this pose.

Judging by the thoughts I think in pigeon pose...I think it's true.

Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow.

A question for the ages

2011-03-11T09:33:00.002-06:00

I saw a perky little squirrel enjoying a snack this morning, happily munching from a "Zoo Cookies" bag of.....animal crackers.

I guess that answers that one.

Limits.

2011-03-08T09:32:00.003-06:00

This past month the actor/sailor/fisher/surfer/outdoorsman has been on the road in California while I've been here in the Midwest, braving blizzards, studying babies, going to yoga, and keeping the house.

The kitties are less than thrilled with the switch to the 'single parent' model. The have become terrors in the night and in the day, constantly meowing and getting progressively more and more needy.

It occurred to me that I might be trying too hard when I found myself trying to cook and eat dinner, watch the news, play with the mousie, update my mp3 player, do the laundry and browse a magazine at the same time. I think I actually heard my brain make a short zzzt sound as it short-circuited and gave up. I may be superwoman on some days, but not like this. From now on, only two simultaneous activities. Here's hoping...

You don't say!

2011-03-03T09:08:00.003-06:00

You know, I never go around saying to myself, "Those gosh darn teachers, firefighters, actors, and police! They just make too much money to do what they do."

Or try this on for size: "Hey, there goes my 7th grade algebra teacher! That's a nice Ferarri she bought for herself. Oh, and I heard she goes yachting on the weekend and owns three homes and a fleet of jetskis."

We just don't say those things. Why? Because people who do those incredibly important jobs - the jobs that involve educating children, running into burning buildings, enforcing the law, and keeping people safe - aren't the people that make a lot of money. Yet they are the people that stand to be hurt over the long term.

More often than not, I hear phrases like, "Oh, he teaches math during the week, works retail on the weekends, and has a new baby at home," or "She works three 24-hour shifts as a firefighter, then has two days off, then does it again," or "This was my best year as an actor - for the first time, I earned enough to qualify for health insurance." These are the people we should think about protecting.

Is there waste in the system? I'm sure there is. But if we don't watch out, there is so much more to lose. All this mess in Wisconsin and other states is about much more than balancing the budget - it's about whether our lawmakers are watching out for people without billions of dollars, without huge political influence. Whether or not you 'like' unions or 'like' a certain party, think about it this way: Do you think these small-town teachers and policemen get whipped into a frenzy for no reason? Do you think that in a conservative-leaning state full of moderately-tempered Midwesterners this sort of protest happens all the time?! Um, no. No, it doesn't. I would suggest that maybe there is something big at stake, and something we should all pay attention to.

"Ahh! What can I do? I also don't have millions of dollars to influence the outcome. And I don't have time to go to protests!" Write to your lawmakers and legislators. Write early, write often, write coherently and persuasively. Call their offices and leave messages, write letters to the editor, or talk to your friends. Do something.

Better Homes & Rentals

2011-03-01T10:49:00.005-06:00

Silly me - why did I never think of moving out of a 2nd floor apartment at 11:30pm on the last day of my lease? Surely that is the most convenient and considerate time to vacate your abode, up and down flights of wooden stairs. Thanks for the tip, neighbors!

And to think - doing your laundry at 2:30am on a Tuesday while having a shouting match was such fun! Ha ha, how ribald and free! The perfect way to share your deepest, heartfelt problems with the sleeping apartment dwellers resting on the floor above! Oh, how I shall miss your delightful antics.

Now, please remove your empty futon frame, terrible stump "sculpture" and your broken trampoline pieces from my gardening space. As much as they are attractively arranged to block the fire exit route, I don't think Martha Stewart would approve. Mmmmmkay?

Why, hello, March!

2011-03-01T10:43:00.003-06:00

The first of March is the starter's pistol for two of my favorite seasons in Chicago. The first is gardening, and the second is outdoor bicycling.

Woo hoo!

"It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold: when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade." ~Charles Dickens

Jumping in feet first...

2011-02-22T10:24:00.002-06:00

This has nothing to do with being on one side of the political fence or the other - there are 'good' and 'bad' people on both sides. But I'm sorry, Scott Walker. You riled me up, and now it has to be said:

You're a twit. You were a twit before, and you're still a twit.

Oh, it started with the oily hair and the sleazy-sounding, irrational speeches that never seemed to make any sense. And now, your great twitty-ness is on display to the whole nation, and yes, the world.

Maybe you're not a 'bad' person, maybe you have a few good ideas filed away, but right now, I sure can't see it. Obstinate? Yes. Hard-headed? Absolutely. Effective government? Competent policy maker? Pride of Wisconsin? Ummmm, no.

Sigh.

Landscapes

2011-02-21T13:55:00.005-06:00

When I was 18, I visited New York City for the first time and we did the town. We did everything there was to do on the tourist agenda, and then some. It was a wonderful trip, but as I looked down the giant caverns of Manhattan, seeing that no sunlight fell on the midday streets, I was totally shocked: It's just...dead. How can anyone live here?

Fast-forward several years, and I have spent most of my adult life living in various concrete jungles. Sure, sometimes I get upset about the excessive use of concrete, about giant strip malls and ever-expanding parking lots, and I wonder why cities are designed for cars instead of people with, you know, feet instead of wheels. I miss the green, I miss the quiet. But I've come to appreciate the landscape of cities in a way that I didn't when I viewed it with my small-town eyes.

During the weekend, I took the train and spent some time in the Art Institute and in the garden downtown. My destination was the featured exhibition of watercolors by American artist John Marin at the Art Institute. A lot of the press for the exhibition calls him, "The Winslow Homer of his generation." (Errr...yeah. That meant almost nothing to me, except that Mr. Homer is a big, famous American painter.) The paintings are truly special - a jumble of modern shapes and structures, combined with love of nature and bright bursts of color. The Brooklyn Bridge, the coast of Maine, and the Tyrol feature in the show - highly recommended! (Although I still have to plead ignorance on Winslow Homer - I'll look him up later.)

The downstairs gallery is featuring modern works by American photographers, including Berenice Abbot, Walker Evans, and Margaret Bourke-White. Again, those names meant almost nothing to me, but I do like black and white photography. The images are primarily from in and around the urban landscapes of New York after the great industrialists got ahold of the building industry. There are Russian men clinging to the face of giant dam structures, and steel workers bowed in the heat of sleek, stories-high steel cylinders. Burke-White's photos look like they all belong on the book jacked for 'The Fountainhead,' expounding the benefits of mass production and metal-based buildings. Abbot's photos are similar, but feature the valleys, tunnels, and chasms created by modern skyscrapers in New York. The lines and shadows are visually stunning in all of them, the excitement of being in New York, of seeing the towering buildings, comes through in all the pieces.

After my visit, I took a walk through the Lurie Gardens and spent some time with the frosty garden plants. The gardener in me is just itching for Spring to make its official arrival, but if the the lack of green in the beds of wildflowers is any sign...we're still many weeks away. I strolled the paths, watching the pink sunset and seeing the signs begin to light up for Saturday night. Looking down the steel and glass cavern created by the Adams street buildings, away toward the glowing sky, the city seemed wholly alive, a jumble of red brick and white stone mountains, rivers of traffic and veins of sinuous train tracks, dotted with clearings of parkland, bordering a wild and icy-green Lake Michigan. Ahhhhh.

Freight train

2011-02-17T09:13:00.001-06:00

Last night was like a personal freight free for all on the CTA. I'm going to update my list of things I've seen carried on the CTA:

Flat screen television

Guitar & amplifier

Desktop computer

Full-size ironing board

Floor lamps

Bikes (okay, that's a freebie)

Several sections of 5-foot long PVC piping

It's really the PVC pipes that get me. You wouldn't think the little old lady who commutes daily on the train is the same as the type of person who gets oversized pipe sections cut at the hardware store, but what do I know?

Ok, winter...

2011-02-09T09:46:00.003-06:00

I'm done with you.

Until this point, I had been sailing along on a kind of zen-like acceptance of the excessive snow, excessive wind, and excessive cold. I had even started to embrace it, what with the snow day. I had developed a kind of mantra to protect me:

I am a child of the North! I am unfazed by your extreme weather! My Midwestern practicality, love of carbohydrates and layers of clothing will sustain me until Spring!

But today...today was it. Somewhere between my watering eyes, my burning cheeks and fingers, the 7th delay on the train, scraping off the inside of my windshield and my toes starting to freeze inside my wool-lined boots.....I lost it. And I could see that everyone had lost it. No more patience, no more acceptance, no more Mr. Nice Chicago.

So go away, Winter. It's been a nice visit. We enjoyed the free day off of work, and the white Christmas was lovely, but that's enough for this year.

Big Girls Don't Cry

2011-02-09T09:30:00.002-06:00

Recently I found myself having to re-take the most dreaded of all graduate school entry requirements: the GRE.

The first time I took the GRE was at (gulp!) 5 years ago, and I prepped by studying for more than 3 months. This time, I found out 4 weeks after I submitted my materials that apparently my score had been current at some earlier point during the application, but was not longer current. So, I got an email from the program...could I re-take the test? Could I do it next week?

I'm sure you can relate to that sinking feeling in your stomach, knowing that you have a surprise test, and haven't prepared. Or finding out you have to give a huge presentation with little warning.

I did the only think I could do. I hit the books - hard - for a week. I was a woman obsessed - and stressed. I didn't sleep well, I certainly didn't eat well, and I drank as much tea as I did when I was writing final papers in grad school. Ick.

My body has only 2 responses to extreme stress: (1) get sick to my stomach and (2) cry. Then I get over it and move on. On the day of the test, my psyche decided that (2) was the appropriate response, and about half-way up the elevator to the testing center, I started to feel the tears a'comin'.

For some reason, the self-talk started up: What are you doing? Do you think Hilary Clinton cries when she has to solve another world crisis? No! Did she cry when she lost the presidential nomination?! No! Get over it, sissy pants. It's just a test.

The tough self-talk seemed to work. The tears receded. I took the test. I didn't do extremely well, but I did as well as I had hoped. I didn't barf, and I moved on with my day.

So thanks, Hillary. For better or worse, I think you have more cajones than almost anyone I know.

Better late...

2010-12-03T10:26:00.003-06:00

There are two kinds of people in the world. One of each lives in our home:

The first lives by the mantra, "If you're not early, you're late."

The second takes the opposite approach: "If I sleep in my gym clothes, I can lie in bed for 5 more minutes."

In public

2010-11-23T09:48:00.005-06:00

Or: Why it's weird when you walk around with a tissue sticking out of your nose, but I'm happy you do.

Depending on who you ask, Chicago is either a huge, anonymous, international mecca...or it's a tightly woven network of social groups, where everyone knows everyone and you better keep that in mind when you do a job, go to a party, or buy milk while wearing sweatpants.

But lately it seems that most people don't give a flip about what they do and who sees it when they're not actually at a place of work. I could be wrong, but I'll give you two examples:

I was running on the treadmill at my gym when I noticed there was a noise coming from a guy a few treadmills away. It was a noise that can only be described as....yodeling. I attempted to look sneakily in his direction and yes, he was indeed singing in some way, but maybe the yodeling part of it was just the natural bouncing of his running gait. "Ok," I thought, "Fair enough. We all rock out when we're trying to get through the next five minutes. It's not always flattering, but who cares?" And then I noticed the jazz hands. Yes, jazz hands. He was doing choreography while running on a treadmill and singing. And no one else was looking at him! I was the only one who found this a little weird - the main desk receptionist was serenely folding gym towels, her thoughts miles away, as if there was nothing weird about running while singing AND dancing.

The second example was when I was walking along, on my way to work. After a day of tropical monsoons, the weather swung completely the other way to crisp, wintery sun. I was strolling along when I noticed a pretty girl with long dark hair and nice pink tights...with a giant tissue protruding from her nostril, flapping in the breeze. She wasn't even holding on to it - just walking around with a giant piece of white fluff sticking out of her nose. It wasn't even an appropriately trimmed "I got nose surgery and I have to wear these cotton things" look! Now, I understand, it's cold. We all get dry noses. Sometimes we need to wipe them. Am I wrong in thinking there is a more discrete way of stuffing your nose? Does the entire kleenex need to be thwapping you in the face as you walk? Again, NO ONE else seemed to think this was weird - no sidelong glances from fellow commuters, nothing.

This, in the end, is what I appreciate about the giant, anonymous, random, sprawling nature of this fair city.

You can be as strange as you want to be, and after whatever momentary internal reaction a passerby may experience ("Yodeling?? On a treadmill?? With JAZZ HANDS??") most everyone silently thinks, "Well....to each their own," and moves on with their day.

That Chicago is this way is liberating, and I think it makes it inherently American in its attitude. Ultimately it makes me happy to believe that for every yodeling treadmill man, or nostril-kleenex-wearing student, there are other kindred souls who, though they don't join your yodeling in solidarity, will at least let others pass in peace.

Business class

2010-11-17T10:41:00.003-06:00

Yesterday we received a piece of mail addressed to our address, but I'm not sure it was meant for us:

Business Owner:

Sweet Thunder

Maybe I'm running a business thats SO secret, I'm not aware of it. If that's the case where is all my secret revenue? Hmmm...

Topic of conversation

2010-10-27T10:05:00.003-05:00

Conversations of late have focused on a few specific topics - mostly C's show and my decisions about career and grad school. Oh, and one other thing:

#1
Me: How was your day, honey?
C: Great. You?
Me: Fine, kind of busy, but it was okay.
(Pause)
C: I want to go fishing soooo bad!

#2:
Me: Great show!
C: Thanks! I think it went well.
Me: Would you like to get something to eat later?
C: I REALLY want to go fishing.

#3:
C: I think I need to get some new shoes.
Me: Yeah, those look like they're wearing out, huh?
C: Yeah
(Pause)
C: Maybe I should check the fishing report....

#4:
Me: I'm feeling kind of overwhelmed by applications. I'm just not sure where to go from here. What do you think?
C: I think you're brilliant. You can do anything!
Me: Thanks, honey I appreciate that.
C: Here, let's take your mind off all that stress. Wanna see this new caddis fly tying technique? They use these amazing feathers....

#4:
Me: Goodnight. Love you.
C: Love you
(Pause)
C: Can I go fishing now?

Bumper stickers

2010-10-23T10:27:00.002-05:00

After a few years of riding to work along similar streets, I know many of the cars by sight and I expect to see certain ones as I go along.

Obviously I don't know any of the people, but sometimes I wish I did. One of my favorites is on a older, rusty, be-stickered red volvo station wagon that looks like it's seen many miles. It reads: "My other car is a '67 Impala. "

Cheesy cooking

2010-10-23T10:26:00.003-05:00

I'm always learning new things about cooking, especially when I get to try new foods from friends, and then adapt the recipes. Today I learned that you can never have too much cheese in your cheese grits.

Oh wait - I mean you can never have too much cheese in ANY food.

Skillz

2010-10-05T09:30:00.003-05:00

Dear consultant,

When I ask your professional opinion on a new and expensive computer for the workplace, I don't really need you to use your advanced technical background to reply in a one-sentence email and call it: "a sweet machine :) "

Okay? Okay.

Early 'warning'*

2010-10-02T14:02:00.007-05:00

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple
- from 'Warning' by Jenny Joseph

When I am a young woman
I shall wear purple tights
With a red skirt that is wooly & warm, and totally perfect for this current fall season
And my significant other will make fun of me for wearing this outfit to work,
Saying with a knowing smile that I look very academic.

I will tell him, "Too bad.
"I work with babies and if I can't wear crazy clothes to work now,
"When will I ever get to?
"Besides, these multi-colored socks totally pull the look together."*

Now where are those knee-high, green leather lace-up boots when I need them...

*Actual conversation regarding real pair of wild socks which are WONDERFUL!

College days are here again

2010-10-01T17:36:00.002-05:00

With the return of the students comes the return of student advertising. It's at this point that I am always reminded that the college world is not the real world - you can say a lot more on your student flier than would be allowed in most media outlets.

Recent gems from the stroll to my office:

Jungle Jews! Seasonal Hillel Formal
New dance craze, or kama sutra position? Join and see for yourself! (with visuals!!)
Your Girlfriend Gyno - What's up down there?

It's heartening to see all this (mostly) uncensored, eager energy on display.

Feminists: 1 Market researcher: 0

2010-09-29T19:25:00.002-05:00

We received a call on our home phone number from a market research company. Depending on the type of research, we sometimes answer these calls and help them out (it's good survey karma, I think).

The survey guy explained the survey to me and then followed with "May I please speak to the male head of household?" Grrrr, I thought.

"He's busy right now," I said. "He's cooking dinner."

He ended the call pretty quickly after that.

I'm glad it was only Number 1

2010-09-24T17:15:00.002-05:00

Today I went to use the ladies room at work. A certain person - a person known to me - was in the other stall. I've heard this person talking on her phone while using the facilities before. We all know these people, we hear them from time to time, and yes, some of us even ARE them.

But this time she was on speakerphone. Much as I am happy that she and her boyfriend (or whoever was on the other end of the line) have a close enough relationship where they pee within earshot, I'm not sure that I want to be included in these potty talk sessions.

To go or not to go?

Heat wave

2010-07-29T21:24:00.002-05:00

Summer in the city.

This little phrase evokes many images for Chicago summertime: multitudes of children splashing in the fountain at Millennium Park, dining al fresco at night sipping crisp, lemony beers, lazy afternoons baking at the beach, and.....feeling your clothes stick uncomfortably to your skin in all the wrong places.

There's the common put-everything-in-the-freezer trick, close-all-the-windows trick, cold-shower-before-bed trick, and the please-don't-think-about-touching-me-or-I'll-scream feeling. Yet everyone hits a breaking point in the heat, and it's usually about this time of year, when we're baking in 90-degree weather for three-day spells and no rain in sight.

And what happens when that happens?

We heartier souls break down. We sit on porches and fire escapes, fanning frantically until the wee hours, gripping icy glasses of water. We wander the grocery stores, only to discover they are out of ice cream and popsicles. Grownups climb in the fountains, in their clothes. We go searching clothing racks for shorts, and they have already been snatched. We go to big stores and desperately hunt the racks of air conditioners and fans- only to find that 2.2 million other people thought of this idea first and there is not one AC unit to be found. It's an air conditioner condition! A popsicle debacle! A shorts shortage!

It's summer in the city. We like to think we're so urban, so independent, so...different from each other. But in this heat, we're all the same.

Wash your greens, please

2010-06-19T13:41:00.003-05:00

A wild night of storms meant that our lettuces took quite a beating last night. So, I harvested the several bunches and rinsed them in the sink, then set them in the fridge to chill.

Imagine my surprise (nay, fear and terror) when I opened the fridge to get a class of iced tea and discovered Miss Spider sitting confusedly on the bottom rack. I think both of our internal reactions went something like this: "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!"

Great as my fear of spiders is, my fear of squishing them - or worse, attempting to squish them and then not knowing where they went when I miss - is greater still. I returned Miss Spider to the garden with the express instructions to eat lots of harmful bugs.

Lesson learned - I will be shaking the lettuces more vigorously BEFORE bringing them into the house.

Time for new perfume!

2010-06-08T09:36:00.002-05:00

In my day job, I do research with children from ages 0-4. This means that most of my workwear consists of kneeling-friendly, drool-friendly, parent-friendly, and child-friendly, ensembles that can be spilled on and crawled around in.

But at night I do like to trade these sets for something more grown-up and city-appropriate, like a skirt (can't sit cross legged in that), fun shoes (don't want to stab any little ones), or jewelry - (which I often skip because it can be distracting during sessions, or tugged by little fingers).

Well, I had thought I was pretty thoroughly transforming from one activity to the other, until the other night. I was chatting with one of my fabulous ladies-about-town.

"You always smell so nice!" she said. "Aw, thanks," I said, secretly happy that I didn't always smell like 'just got off a bike.'

"It's kind of fresh and clean," she said, "like a baby."

D'oh!

'Splosions

2010-06-06T12:39:00.004-05:00

Recently one of the Chicago Blackhawks lost 7 teeth at once, in what the commentators called a 'tooth-splosion' (shudder). Now all I can think of is how to use 'splosion' as a suffix for other events...so I will.

One of the most exciting things about the garden escapade of this summer is that it seems to be catching! There is a mini 'plant-splosion' happening in our back area, and all over the patios of the city. Our little garden was a lonely pile of dirt a few months ago, but I think we may be responsible for starting or joining a mini garden-splosion in our own backyard.

There are now some pots of flowers, a collection of tomatoes and herbs, flower baskets added on 2 decks, and a little bistro table appeared today. Grass or no grass, the greening of the back patio has started...I can only think that a summer of warm and happy outdoor dining awaits us.

PS - Some of you may remember my foraging expedition in the front yard, and me wondering if I had crossed the line to weirdo. Well, I was happy to finally see one of our neighbors cutting some of the beautiful and unappreciated pink roses from the alley to put in a vase. Score!

Summer necessities

2010-05-16T13:03:00.003-05:00

On some warm summer nights, there's no alternative but to stop on the way home and get some fresh figs and dates, and then eat them with an entire bowl of whipped cream. Really, it just has to be done.

It's the little things

2010-05-16T12:54:00.002-05:00

We had a baby shower for a co-worker this week and the mom-to-be already has an adorable 3-year-old girl. The 'big sister' has been having some issues with the impending arrival of her new little brother, so we brought some special 'big girl' gifts to the shower, too.

She was in a pile of presents that included a Beauty & the Beast doll and horse, a Dora the Explorer purse, and at least 5 Beanie Babies. We had gotten her some more, ahem, little things that we thought she might like - crayons, a sticker book, barrettes, etc.

The barrettes were those plastic ones that come in shapes like bows, butterflies, and flowers, but when you get them in the box, they aren't folded yet, so the look like multicolored toothpicks. When she got to that package, she ripped open the box, and - sitting in the middle of her pile of treasures - yelled, "Look! It's STICKS!!!" as if it was literally the most exciting present in the whole world. It's the little things, right?

Hip to be a square

2010-04-12T09:25:00.002-05:00

After the success of our container gardens last year, we are back at it again. This time around, we are doing Square Foot Gardening, a high-yield, low-space garden that allows us to build raised beds on our concrete surface, and grow all kinds of vegetables.

The main features of this kind of gardening include a nutrient-rich soil combination, and square beds that make it easier to estimate how many plants to plant in a small space. The idea is, that instead of having several long rows of the same veggies, you can plant a little of everything and get an easy to maintain group of a variety of things.

We made several trips to the hardware store and the garden center, but yesterday we finally put the beds together (photos coming soon). So far, building the beds was pretty easy once we had the materials. The next step is mixing the soil, and then we're ready to get started. The last Spring frost for Chicago is forecast for April 20th, so we hope to have our seeds & seedlings planted on or before that date. And then...veggies galore.

In which we are socialites

2010-04-12T09:04:00.005-05:00

Part of Collin's job is to go to events and socialize (gee, too bad, right?) so this weekend we got dolled up for a 'young professional' style soiree in the city. You know, the kind where people get all dolled up, drink fancy drinks, give money away for a good cause, and have their pictures taken by photographers.

I've been to a few events of this kind through past non-profit jobs, but I had never ever never been asked to be in a photo....until now! (If you click through the reel, you'll see us in the lineup along with some of our friends. Yay!) I know it's a silly thing, but it was a small personal victory and vote of confidence for my party dress & Collin's Mad Men-esque suit. I have no idea if it will end up on the cutting room floor, but it was fun to be glam. The party itself was held in an amazing gallery/antique store on the West Side, so you could browse vintage stained glass and garden sculpture while you sipped cocktails for a cause.

After partying on down with the other YP types ad the cast of the most recent show at the theater company(which shall remain nameless but rhymes Meppenwolf...), we went to the after party at a 'hip' Chicago club, at which we were reminded why we don't go to 'hip' clubs - you can't hear anyone, the music is generally trying too hard, you can't see anything, and you're really not sure whose hand that was and why it was there. Ummmm, thanks but no thanks.

We gave it a little while, but then booked it out of there and headed to a 4am Chicago blues bar, Kingston Mines, where we ended the night one of our new friends, a nightcap, and some tiny-yet-incredibly talented Japanese ladies featured on harmonica and sax.

And after all that - gooood night, Chicago!

Things I learned from watching the Oscars in HD

2010-03-11T11:52:00.003-06:00

Everyone has frizzy hair. Yep, everyone.
A spray tan can cover many things, but not everything. Hellooo, sunscreen.
There is such a thing as too much eyeliner (and yes, it does start to melt after an hour)
If you are crazy, not-eating-for-3-months thin, you actually do look like a skeleton. Eeek!
Even stick-thin celebrities women have a little tummy. And hey ladies - the curves look good. Eat a bowl of ice cream and relax!
Botox is no substitute for a warm personality and a good laugh.
Coco was right: "Nature gives you the face you have at 20. Life shapes the face you have at 30. But at 50, you get the face you deserve".

Baby Watch

2010-03-11T10:07:00.003-06:00

I have an idea for a brilliant new TV show. It's going to be about people in their 20s-30s, sitting on a beautiful beach, scanning the horizon (and by 'horizon' I mean 'the interwebs') for any signs of close friends going into labor.

Then, when they see the new arrival is on the way, they have to grab a surfboard (why not?), a card, and the cutest blankie they can find, and run in slow-motion towards the nearest post office with gifts in hand.

In case you're wondering, this is a lot like my life right now - minus the beach, the surfboard, and the general ability to send things on time*....

*Sorry, my lovely and amazing new mama & papa friends! Your prezzies ARE coming, I promise!

Mental floss?

2010-03-02T13:42:00.006-06:00

In academia, I sometimes feel surrounded by absolutely brilliant people who lack basic forms of common sense.

Am I being too hard on them? Or too critical? Well....this week I saw a professor walking the campus pathways in frigid winter weather....while blithely flossing his teeth. Walking and flossing. At. The. Same. Time.

Oy.

Haikus for Spinning

2010-02-17T13:46:00.003-06:00

I went to my first spin class. Sweating in a dark room (is the darkness normal???) with strangers and pedaling a fake bike to the tunes of Lady Gaga, Rihanna and Indigo Girls....I don't know if I'm now hooked for life, or terrified that my legs will never recover.

For all you spinners - you people are crazy! (I would, however, really like it if my legs look like yours someday. We'll see.)

And now, some haikus I composed to distract myself while my legs were turning to jelly:

My First Class

I used to think I was fit
Then I went to spinning class
Please, carry me home.

Respiration is gross

Someone spit on me
But I am in so much pain
I don't even care.

Engrish for Suddenly Laugh

2010-01-31T17:09:00.004-06:00

I purchased a new garlic presser in the Asian business district in our neighborhood. For your reading pleasure, here are the instructions, word for word. Possible candidate for an engrish.com entry?

"INSTRUCTIONS FOR USE:
Get rid of the garlic outer covering.
Put 2-3 pieces of garoove.
Press the garlic to keep the garlic juice seep through the slot opening.

"Other feature:
Its design is light and handy. It has handsome and practicable appearance.
It adopts good quality and surface treatment which can ensure that food is healthy and safe.

"Prestige guarantee:
The company can guarantee its products' health and safety.
Up to snuff of export.

"Texture: Zine Metal"

What color IS zine metal, anyway?

Whoa, there.

2009-12-11T14:30:00.007-06:00

I was looking for some Wisconsin-themed calendars to give as gifts to our far-roaming friends and found several online, mostly with outdoor panoramas, cherry blossoms, lakes, and forests - all very tranquil scenes of that great state in the Midwest.

But I did pause for a moment when I noticed that the the 'Customers who bought this calendar also purchased..." included 2010 calendars such as the highly-rated 'Hot Buns,' featuring 12 months of full-color photos. Yes, that is exactly what you think it is (and it was the most G-rated calendar in the bunch!)

I think that pretty much says it all.

NYC Getaway

2009-10-29T18:24:00.004-05:00

We have done more traveling this year than we thought we could or would, but haven't been so good on posting the photos. By which I mean...we weren't so good at taking enough photos, either...

We did succeed in eating pizza, walking through the park, browsing the Met, staying out 'til 4am, sampling cheap-and-cheerful slow food cuisine, seeing live improv, spending time with family, lunching on bagels, hearing late night music in tiny clubs, and making up for lost time with those we miss.

It is hard not to love New York (when you don't have to pay rent, right?), but it made me appreciate the differences between NYC and our current home. Where New York feels close, eclectic, and accessible, Chicago sometimes goes for sheer height, size, distance, and largess. New York accepts any and all weirdos and sophisticates, but in the Midwest we seem to walk a somewhat more moderate line. One thing I never would have guessed - Chicago's El is cleaner than the NYC subway. Ha!

One more thing - although NYC is the city that never sleeps, I would like to say that sometime around 3:30 am on a hot subway car, some people certainly do....

On trying to keep up...

2009-10-29T18:22:00.001-05:00

“It is hopeless for the occasional visitor to try to keep up with Chicago-she outgrows his prophecies faster than he can make them. She is always a novelty; for she is never the Chicago you saw when you passed through the last time.”
- Mark Twain

And that, blog friends, is why I have had to time to write!

Second-hand rejection

2009-10-01T09:44:00.002-05:00

I recently went to The Barn Sale on a thrifty adventure. This is the sale to end all sales - it occupies the entire Kane County fairgrounds, and the crowds fill the entire parking lot. And yes, they have a website. The countdown to Barn Sale 2010 has already begun.

Anyway, there is nowhere to try on your purchases in the giant barns of used goods, so I came home with several pairs of very nice jeans that were not quite the right size. There are a few stores in Chicago where you can take your old - yet still fashionable - clothes and trade them in for store credit, so I thought, "Hey, I can trade in these jeans and maybe find some that fit me."

Alas, it was not to be. The standards for this 2nd hand store are too ritzy for my Barn Sale selections. They wouldn't even take them for free (!)

"Well," she explained, "These washes are one or two seasons old. Dark wash skinny jeans are what's in now."

Feeling slightly strange about this rejection (Um, hello - they sell 2nd-hand Old Navy!), I went home repeating my latest Recessionista mantra: She who sews has the newest clothes, she who sews has the newest clothes....

One hour and one pair of jeans later, I am the proud owner of tailor-made skinny jeans and officially ready for the winter crafting season. Faboosh, indeed.

Green thumb. And green food.

2009-09-29T10:58:00.003-05:00

Any suggestions on what to do with 4 plants-worth of green roma tomatoes?

No amount of poking, prodding, trimming, ignoring, pleading, organic spraying or loving could make those darn things turn red this year. Meanwhile, the 'Sweet 100s' variety has been putting out tasty little tomatoes all the while. Hmmm...

A friend sent me this delicious looking recipe for jalapeno and green tomato jam (hellooooo, grilled cheese sandwich!) and another has suggested egg, feta, and green tomato pizza.

Any other tasty suggestions?

Chicago contra-dance affair

2009-09-23T10:56:00.005-05:00

Yes, I'm in love...with folk dancing.

It's true. I love a good Virginia Reel, swinging my partner, and Dashing White Sargent as much as anyone.

Phew, that feels better.

So, to add to the random dance experiences in my life, I will now add contra dancing to the list. What is it? It's somewhere between what you might see in a Jane Austen movie, square dancing, and ceilidh dancing. And it's really, really fun. (Look at me now, Mom! One step away from square dancing! Now where is that petticoat....)

My friend (a researcher) asked me to rate my recent experience:

"Please rate how weird it was:
1. Not weird at all, just like a trip to the grocery store.
2. Somewhat weird. Ok, grocery store but with pink neon lights by the registers
3. Weird: I did not know people like this existed
4. Very Weird: I was surprised to see that people like this could communicate and gather... and dance.
5. Extremely Weird: I felt out of place. I will never wear a kilt, sway my sword and shout 'Me lads and lasses: dance!'"

I'll leave the choice up to you.

Sit down....if you dare!!!!

2009-09-18T16:31:00.003-05:00

As some of you may know, we are in possession of a certain chair from a certain bestest friend that has the title 'The Death Chair.' It has lived with us, formerly our friend, and in a few dorm rooms, for several years.

Why is it called The Death Chair? Because our friend's very wonderful and kind grandparent departed this earthly life while sitting comfortably in it. We never once thought this was creepy. Until now...(I am filling in for my blog spouse with this story as told to me):

"On the way to class last night I stopped at A's place to pick up some things. I walked in, looked around, and I realized that he had the exact same recliner as we have, only in black. "

(Note: This is pretty unique - it's a 1960s original La-Z-Boy upholstered in naugahyde plastic. But I digress).

"I said to A, I have that exact same chair! I love it!

He said, "Yeah, but did your grandfather die in it?"

Eeeeek! La-Z-Boy: So comfortable, you could just die. (No really, you could).

¡Super!

2009-09-17T09:33:00.009-05:00

There is a restaurant on Clark street, which has probably the best name ever: ¡Super Tortas Futboleros!

Not being a competent Spanish speaker, I interpreted this to mean one of a few things:

Our tortas are super, like super footballers.
Our tortas are the size of soccer balls...or soccer players.
Our tortas look like soccer players. (Look at his outfit. This is a real possibility!)
Footballers are tortas. ¡Super!

The answer is.....all of the above. I learned that super tortas are big sandwiches invented in Mexico, and at this shop they are named after international footballers.

So, your order might be something like "Una Jorge Campos to go, por favor."

¡Super!

Heard on campus:

2009-09-14T13:50:00.001-05:00

"Gosh, is it a weekday? I had no idea."

Random observations from biking:

2009-09-10T10:14:00.008-05:00

I have found many bugs hitching a ride on my shirt - my torso doubles as a non-lethal windshield.
Foggy mornings = free steam facial!
I saw a little boy wearing a foil suit on his way to school. Yep - foil, all head to toe. It was a knight costume, and I can imagine his parents didn't really want to argue about it.
A gentleman was walking around a street in a fluffy robe and slippers. Not just getting the paper - going for a stroll. From this I glean that when you are retired, the world is your living room.
Yarmulkes are now appropriate workout wear - I've seen guys doing push-ups and jogging while wearing them.
Bike bells make people very, very happy.

Parks and recreation

2009-08-11T19:37:00.002-05:00

In the afternoon, some people like going for bike rides in the lakefront park, while others prefer tai chi, yoga, walking their puppies, sitting by the lake, or strolling contemplatively on the paths.

And some people enjoy putting on a one-man portable Caribbean-style electro-synthesizer pop music production, while wearing a Hawaiian shirt and coordinating cowboy hat.

You know, just the usual Chicago park activities.

Foray into foraging (or: Humble pie)

2009-08-10T10:33:00.003-05:00

This weekend was hot-hot-hot in the city. One the one hand it made me stay cool inside, but on the other hand it made me want to...bake things. Maybe I was longing for the steamy days of summer from 2006, when, in order to prevent heatstroke, I could only cook after 10pm.

For whatever reason, I decided to tackle the apples that have been steadily dropping from the trees in front of our building. I would love to pretend that I did some renegade curbside foraging or discovered wild lettuces growing in a park, but really the apples keep dropping on the sidewalk with nowhere to go. No one else has seemed interested in doing anything other than kicking them, so I grabbed a canvas bag, a step stool, and went to work on the trees. I realized at that point that I had crossed the 'What will the neighbors think?' line of no return, but oh, well. Waste not, want not.

These particular trees are 'green and organic' in every sense, because no one takes care of them, except to set out a hose once and awhile. As a result, the apples are teeny-tiny, no more than 1"-2", and hard as rocks. I tried washing and biting one - ouch. Even with the apple corer, those things were HARD and therefore questionably appetizing. I thought I might end up with something like Sourpatch Kids baked into a crust - bleh. Some of them had questionable-looking skin, but I decided a peeler would take care of those problems. (It did).

One sore thumb and a few hours later, I was sweating it out in the aroma of a fresh-baked apple pie. Mmmmmm, delicious.

And what did I see in the yard the next day? My neighbor, picking (ahem - "foraging") apples.

Safety first

2009-07-31T12:15:00.002-05:00

Last night I unwrapped several new frames that arrived from an art supplier. We've had prints hanging on the wall in a holding pattern - looking rather sad, I admit - waiting for these 'real' frames.

They arrived un-broken (hurray!) and I set to work on putting the prints in them. The instructions mentioned that the spring clips were particularly dangerous pieces: WARNING - Spring clips under pressure. Eye protection recommended!

So, I got out the safety goggles and continued on with my screwdriver and the whole business. The cats 'assisted' by running around in circles and attacking the bubble wrap (which met a violent end, I'm sorry to say), while Collin made dinner. He came to check on me and laughed at the goggles.

"It said I should wear them," I protested, "You know me. I'll probably injure myself and then you'd be laughing because of the injury."

"Nope, I'd be taking you to the emergency room. That's what I'd be doing."

"Ha ha," I said, going back to my project. "At least I'm being safe."

And then I stabbed myself in the hand.

Good thing I was wearing protection.

Hey, wait a second....

2009-07-24T09:59:00.002-05:00

We know we've entered a new phase of life - adulthood. We both agreed that it's shocking, but true - our generation has started to become parents. And what's more strange is that this seems kind of normal.

My first clue about this subtle change was when I found myself thinking, "Hey....why are all the cute guys wearing babies?!?!"

Vegan Vermin

2009-07-21T09:56:00.002-05:00

SOMETHING has been digging in my newly planted beets and carrots. Just when the little shoots are poking out, this mystery vermin appears and digs up the bed, leaving dirt everywhere. Until further notice we have christened the mystery digger 'The Vegan Vermin.'

This wouldn't be so strange except that the beds are raised about 4 feet of the ground. So apparently, this must be a very agile climbing or flying pest. This whatever-it-is has no apparent interest in the beans, tomatoes, peppers, stevia, or lettuces (which are quite tasty), ONLY the beets and carrots.

Has Bunnicula taken up residence in my urban garden? Will I start finding little white carrots and white beets, drained of their juice?

Or is there some other beet-and-carrot-seed-loving animal that I don't know about? Any ideas, fellow gardeners?

Fitness raisins??

2009-06-16T10:30:00.004-05:00

Why must everything be a 'health food' now? Even my little red raisin box had a special 'Fitness!' label on the side.

Puh-lease. I'll be over here with my 'Sit on Couch' chips and 'Naptime' cookies.

Duluth

2009-06-15T21:07:00.016-05:00

Since we've been lacking in travel postings recently, here are some photo gems from our January trip to the frozen tundra. The weather in Chicago is being distinctly un-summery this week, but this should put it into perspective.

We visited Duluth for my cousin's New Year's wedding with the Dolan clan. As was predicted on the wedding invite, the weather was cold, but the dance floor was hot hot hot!

Many of you might not know where Duluth is, or what you can find there. So for you, here are some fascinating facts about this fair northern city: Duluth was originally settled by Sioux (Dakota) and Chippewa (Ojibwa), then later claimed for France in 1679 by Daniel Greysolon, Sieur du Lhut.

Duluth was once home to more millionaires than anywhere in the world, and today the port of Duluth today has an economic impact of over $250 million! Betcha didn't know that, eh? (For non-Midwesterners, the translation from Minnesotan reads something like: 'That is an interesting fact, is it not?') Well, I didn't, anyway.

All that history aside, we enjoyed several sights and activities during our weekend there. In the winter, check out the lift bridge, the marine museum, and toss a few rocks at the curling club. There's also cute brew-pub, where you can warm your soul and your toes. Another highlight of the trip was experiencing the skyway. And by 'experiencing', I mean 'being shielded from frigidly cold winds by an indoor walkway'. Ahhhh.

In the summer there are other things to do which involve being outdoors (so we've heard). And if these photos don't make you appreciate summer in all its glory, then nothing will.

This lovely lakeside locale (and popular honeymooner destination) has 183 days per year at or below freezing and a lowest recorded temperature of -39 degrees fahrenheit, and the average snowfall here is 77 inches. Mmm, toasty!

Biker-pedestrian Truce

2009-06-15T21:00:00.003-05:00

Here's a wild idea, fellow Chicagoans:

Bikers will henceforth behave like they are a moving vehicle (which they are) and pedestrians will behave like pedestrians (which they are).

Bikers will stop at stop signs and red lights, and not run over small dogs or people. Guess what, two-wheeled friends? Being a 'cool renegade' with a fancy bag and skinny jeans on a retro road bike still doesn't make it cool to run over small children as you barrel through intersections without looking.

Pedestrians will not wander out in front of random bikes. Why? Because we have a stopping distance, just like other vehicles. And it hurts to get hit by a bike. Pedestrians will not fling their car doors open without looking at traffic. Didn't they teach you that in Drivers Ed? I thought so.

Seriously, people. Seriously. It'll be a happier world.

Family motto

2009-06-10T21:36:00.005-05:00

One of the best discoveries we've made in the last few years is that all of my extended family loves to dance.

I don't mean ballroom and I don't mean cha-cha. I mean sweaty, til-the-cows-come-home, heels off, tie-your-tie-around-your-head dance.

The last family occasion for dancing was in Minot, ND ("The Magic City") and the Dolan crew did not disappoint. (There was also some mini-golf that was not far from out of control by upper-Midwest standards. And yes, I have video.)

While I was there, one of the cousins and I started dreaming up slogans for the enormous group of people that is "The Fam." This is the same group of people that trekked many miles of trails Glacier National Park en masse while wearing matching neon green t-shirts. (Note: the original t-shirt slogan for that amazing outing of several days of hiking was going to be "Dolan Family Death March," so we're not without a little humor.)

The most recent ideas included: "Having more fun than is reasonable, since 1881," "We don't look like much, but just give us an hour or so...." and "We bring the party." Simple, but so true. There may have also been one involving references to Journey, but I can't say for sure.

It's already been confirmed that 2010 Dolan Family party calendar will feature at least one wedding and a 60th wedding anniversary celebration.

Oh yeah. It's on.

Urban plant ethics 101

2009-06-09T13:50:00.002-05:00

Summer has been slow in coming, and we've only had a few days without some kind of rain or fog. Thankfully, that means that everything (including our little urban container garden) is fresh and green. Lilacs are blooming in our neighborhood, and they smell absolutely delicious.

I've been eyeing several forgotten, wild looking lilac bushes and wondering if it's okay to snip off a stalk before they turn brown. But I also felt a little wrong - what if they belong to someone else? Do they belong to everyone, even if no one takes care of them?

I consulted a good friend who is knowledgeable and tasteful in the ways of urban gardening. "What do you think?" I said. "If they're untended, can I take some home? Am I allowed to snip one off?"

"Oh, absolutely! You should take one home to enjoy."

(Pause)

"Just, you know.....do it under the cover of darkness."

¡Ay, mamacita!

2009-05-10T13:33:00.002-05:00

Happy Mothers Day, moms!

I celebrated by Mothers Day by going to zumba class with my good friend (and mama) to shake our collective booty in the morning hours.

I was dancing near this amazing woman - she was definitely showing me how it's done. She was so HAPPY and yelling, "¡Ay, mamacita!" throughout the whole class. It made my day, if not my week.

Mamas and others, get thee to a zumba class. You will not be disappointed!

The mighty....er...meow-y hunter

2009-05-06T11:29:00.002-05:00

The spring weather here in Chicago has allowed us to get outside more often in the last few weeks. And, it means that the furry ones get to sit in the sunny windowsills (from behind the safety of screens, of course) and watch the world go by.

Their favorite things to watch are bumblebees, squirrels, birds, and anything else that wanders by their little perch (even dogs!) . They go into 'stalking' mode, crouch down low, and their tails flick back and forth when they spot something good.

Somehow, though, I don't think they'd do very well if they ever were outside. I know this because their hunting methods are questionable at best. Case in point: today Hibby was sitting in the window when he spotted a nice fat robin taking a bird-bath. "Meow!" he said. "Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow!"

The robin - of course - flew away. Hibby looked very confused about why his tactics didn't work.

Birds, you have nothing to fear from these guys. Just listen for the cat that's meowing loudly in your general direction and you'll be fine.

Sometimes....

2009-04-28T13:22:00.004-05:00

Sometimes I get the feeling that I don't belong in my field and I will never succeed because things move forward at an (increasing) terminal velocity of strangeness.

Like today, I read the words "hapax legomenon" in a paper. Definition: 'single word' or 'singleton.'

Who are you people, and what have you done with common sense?!? Gah!!!

Get your calcium, kids!

2009-04-16T18:09:00.001-05:00

I was at a school today for work, doing some activities with kids. The school is far away from any food places, and there was no way to pack lunches for the research team.

We decided to rock it old school with the ever-wonderful cafeteria lunch, and one of the guys went to get lunches from the lunchroom.

The choice of the day was nachos (mmmm good) and he asked for two with meat and one vegetarian.

"Oh no!" the lunch lady said. "We can't put cheese on this either."

"Don't worry," said the other. "There's no cheese in there anyway."

What happens in Wisconsin

2009-03-26T10:47:00.003-05:00

Apparently going on vacation in Wisconsin can induce some crazed, boxed wine-fueled behavior among normally rational people.*

*(Those of you not from Wisconsin are wondering why anyone would drink boxed wine. Those of you from Wisconsin are nodding in agreement.)

A friend sent me this little gem today, and while I think drinking and driving is HORRIBLE and dangerous, and I don't condone OWI behavior from anyone, I can only laugh at her stupidity:

Washington Woman Gets 3 OWIs in 3 Days

Come on! We all know boxed wine is meant for summer beach outings only! What are you doing in your car with a glass and box of wine?!

There goes the neighborhood ... up in flames

2009-03-20T09:06:00.002-05:00

These are the details of our unexpected adventure from last week. More about fun and visitors to follow....

Around 3:00am I heard Collin say 'It smells like smoke,' to which I replied 'It IS smoke,' and we both bolted upright in bed. We looked out the window to a wall grey smoke, with embers and ash drifting along outside. We could hear several firetrucks outside, and see flashing lights.

My first thought was 'Our building is on fire!' (It wasn't), followed by something like 'It smells horrible!' (Yes, it did) followed by...'I want to go back to bed!' (Nope, nothing doing. Burning antifreeze!).

We established that it was the building across the street, an auto body shop full of odorous and toxic items that were being rapidly engulfed in an 8-engine, 4 police car, 2 ambulance fire. (No one was in the building, it turns out, and thankfully no firefighters were hurt.)

The other factor in this adventure is that it was a particularly WINDY night, following some wild spring weather changes, and we were directly downwind of the blaze. So, our apartment quickly filled with chemical-scented air. "My eyes are burning," I said, "Are your eyes burning?" The answer I got was "Yes!" so we decided to strategize about what to do next.

If this experience taught us anything, it's that we need to be way more prepared! We deliberated about where to put the cats. Should we take them outside? It's freezing, and even smokier out there. Is it better to leave them here, and go to a diner? Do we have friends who could take us (and the felines) in for the night? Are we safe here? And on and on.

In the end, we went for a witching-hour walk through our silent neighborhood, watching the firefighting efforts from down the street. When the smoke had mostly dissipated, we headed back to throw open the windows and sleep for a few hours.

It took 50 firefighters to put out the flames, a return visit from the crews during the morning, and the cleanup is still ongoing. As for us, eight hours of laundry, deodorizing and deep-cleaning put things back to normal.

So from our apartment to yours, please check your smoke detector!

Sprrrrrring is on the way

2009-03-19T09:03:00.002-05:00

Ooooh, we are counting the days 'til bike riding and beach time. It feels nice to thaw out a little bit, throw open the windows, and go hatless.

For now...

To my Sister - William Wordsworth

"It is the first mild day of March:
Each minute sweeter than before
The redbreast sings from the tall larch
That stands beside our door.

There is a blessing in the air,
Which seems a sense of joy to yield
To the bare trees, and mountains bare,
And grass in the green field.

My sister! ('tis a wish of mine)
Now that our morning meal is done,
Make haste, your morning task resign;
Come forth and feel the sun.....etc"

.....

2009-03-18T13:05:00.004-05:00

"We only get one chance at life, and a piece of land is a piece of land. . . . My husband is just going to get 6 foot by 6 foot, and that's all any of us are going to get."

Kate Carroll, widow of Constable Stephen Carroll, who was killed in N. Ireland this week.

Words, words, words...

2009-03-05T10:34:00.004-06:00

I came across this piece as a part of my work on code-switching. It's based on a lecture by Zadie Smith at the New York Public Library in December, and it's an excellent read. Really makes you think!

Speaking in Tongues -Volume 56, Number 3

By Zadie Smith

The following is based on a lecture given at the New York Public Library in December 2008.

"Hello. This voice I speak with these days, this English voice with its rounded vowels and consonants in more or less the right place—this is not the voice of my childhood. I picked it up in college, along with the unabridged Clarissa and a taste for port. Maybe this fact is only what it seems to be—a case of bald social climbing—but at the time I genuinely thought this was the voice of lettered people, and that if I didn't have the voice of lettered people I would never truly be lettered. A braver person, perhaps, would have stood firm, teaching her peers a useful lesson by example: not all lettered people need be of the same class, nor speak identically. I went the other way. .....Read More

Raisin Brahms!

2009-02-27T09:39:00.004-06:00

It raises tests scores, fuels creativity, lowers your blood pressure, and features a man with a large, large beard crashing through your walls....

Give up?

It's Raisin Brahms!

I heart the arts. And I heart this PSA that hearts the arts :) When you're done, you can snack on some VanGogh-gurt....

In which we are scenesters

2009-02-06T16:18:00.004-06:00

We went to a benefit and premiere party for a director with whom the Sailor worked on a commercial gig. The event was held right downtown in a woody-looking bar, ironic sweatshirts and piercings galore, hoodies with sportcoats, funky wall art with a DJ booth towering above the floor. Mmmm, good times.

The evening was a benefit for an art rehabilitation program for child soldiers in the Congo (fallingwhistles.com). The night was, as I said, a premiere for short films by Alex Beh (alexbeh.com), including Sugar and his new short The Laundry (lovely and surreal). Were were treated to some super cool live beat boxing (arilane.com) (amazing!) and a musical performance from Andy Davis (yummy) (andydavisonline.com).

Phew, that's a lot of hipness all in one PBR-tastic night. "Brotally" awesome, as it were!

PS - Seriously, go watch Alex Beh's film Sugar and then listen to Andy Davis' music online. You will feel warm and fuzzy all over - promise.

Punny. Very punny.

2009-02-03T08:57:00.002-06:00

Today on the news they were showing clips of the giant snowfall in Europe. Big Ben was barely visible through the flakes, and even grown-ups were making snowmen in the parks

The caption?
"Icy London, icy France...."

You know someone in the newsroom was snorting at that one.

Oh My!

2009-02-02T14:41:00.006-06:00

From the language history files, a 'language pledge':

"I love the United States of America. I love my country’s flag. I love my country’s language. I promise:

1. That I will not dishonor my country’s speech by leaving off the last syllable of words.

2. That I will say a good American "yes" and "no"; in place of ... grunt "um-hum" and "up-um"; or a foreign "ya" or "yeh" and "nope";

3. That I will do my best to improve American speech by avoiding loud rough tones, by enunciating distinctly, and by speaking pleasantly, clearly, and sincerely.

4. That I will learn to articulate correctly as many words as possible during the year."

Eeeeeek!! There's a whole section of the upper Midwest that couldn't exist without use of a good 'yah'.

The sky is... oh, wait...

2009-01-31T13:04:00.003-06:00

Remember back in college when the ceiling fell in and dripped everywhere and it was really gross and wreaked general havoc?

Remember that? Remember how fun it was?

That's funny. I don't remember it being fun, either. I can't imagine re-living that one! Whew! What a mess! Glad that's over.

Wait, what's that dripping noise?

Jump rope

2009-01-21T10:17:00.005-06:00

I don't know about you, but I had those jump ropes with little blue-and-white alternating colors beads that made that shuka-shuka-shuka sound when they hit the ground. These are the (obviously) the universally recognized standard for all elementary school-aged kids. Remember this favorite?

"Not Last Night but the night before.
Twenty-four robbers came knocking at my door,
They called me out for the world to see,
And this is what they said to me..."

I particularly remembe beind wildly talented at jumping with another rope inside the two ropes and/or knowing a routine set to 'Dueling Banjos'. Look out, Jump Rope for Heart! Yeah, that's right! I have a little rope and a matching t-shirt, too! Watch out!

Yesterday my friend from Chicago said, "Remember those ropes? Remember when you had to nod your head in rhythm and do the arm motion to get in? Remember trying to get in double dutch?" (You can just imagine it. Think back....) She did the head and arm motion. I laughed SO hard.

Ahhh. I needed that.

Winter in the Windy City

2009-01-13T16:28:00.011-06:00

I have decided that winter in the city needs a special survival guide. Here are my tips for surviving winter in Chi-town without breaking your tailbone, and with your sanity intact:

Taxis: When a taxi honks at you, the taxi driver is either saying 'May I give you a ride?' or 'I am about to run you over.' If you are standing in the street and a taxi honks at you...well, that's up to you to figure out.

"Clear" sidewalks: You will not see the sidewalk until April. Don't be fooled by those clear-looking areas! They are only black ice. Remember that from drivers ed? Ouch!

Snow: Like most places in the Midwest, it can and will snow sideways. Get a scarf. Or better yet, get a face mask. This doubles as protection from scary people on the El.

Boots: Do you like your fashion-forward fall boot purchase? Well, save it for spring. The amount of salt used on the roads & sidewalks here is enough to pickle a fleet of herrings. Wellies are your new best friend. Along with....

Sunlight: Sunny days = cold. Grey days = cold and wet. Wet days = cold and icy. Make sure you get your daily dose of vitamin D outdoors, but don't forget to smear your entire face with Carmex (see 'Snow' for more on this point).

Fashion and Cold Weather: You can be warm or fashionable, but not both. I have never seen a businessman in a suit who isn't shivering, and I have never seen a warm person who looked stylish. It's best to commit to one or the other.

Falling down: Everyone takes a digger at least once during the winter. There is no best spot to land, unless you can take down the person next to you wearing a down coat, and fall on them. Failing that, aim for a snowbank.

Don't be happy. Worry!

2009-01-09T17:04:00.005-06:00

Sometimes you just have to love a good old fashioned rant from your weekly curmudgeonly columnist.

Happy 2009 from one of my favourite grumpies, Charlie Brooker:

Survive 2009 by learning to love and share. Why not start by frolicking in a bubble bath with a neighbour?

"The concept of sharing has been knocked out of us. Now we'll have to knock on doors and swap cups of sugar..."

"When you saaaaaaaay Wisconsin...

2008-11-21T09:47:00.004-06:00

...You've said it all."

Yes, it's true. We found a Packers bar in Chicago where people eat deep-friend cheese-curds, drink beer out of boots, and polka at every touchdown. Sometimes the owner dances on the bar. Oh, who am I kidding? He ALWAYS dances on the bar. It's a microcosm of the cheese state.

We were enjoying a Sunday afternoon there, when one of us turned to the other and, gazing around at our fellow cheese-heads and surveying the effects of brats, cheese, beer, and Sunday football, said "You know, I don't think Wisconsin will ever win the all-states beauty contest."

"No," the other said. "But we're so nice! And look how happy we are."

And that's really all you need to say.

Oh, the irony!

2008-10-31T11:49:00.003-05:00

For Halloween, I always try to go as something that doesn't require buying stuff I won't use. Witness the newspaper dress (thank you, Press & Journal) and the green bedsheet fairy costume (yes, glitter does wash out) of years gone by. This year, I'm at a loss, but choices so far include:

a) Mummy - I've never done it, and it might be kind of funny! Plus the cats will love it.
b) Tourist - This costume will be VERY comfy and allow for picture-taking
c) Hipster - Probably easiest and/or funniest for the 20-something crowd drinking PBR.

So now I have this chicken-or-the-egg dilemma: If I wear hipster clothes ironically as a costume, then does the irony of me wearing the ironic hipster clothes then make me someone pretending to be a hipster for Halloween...or (ironically) an actual hipster?

Milwaukee. Algonquin for....

2008-10-06T14:20:00.001-05:00

See?

We always knew that Milwaukee was on the way up! And now that the NY Times has taken the time to review the city, we know we've really made it, right :)

So, just in case I haven't already bothered you enough to make a trip to Wisco in the near future...here's another set of fun things to do:

36 Hours in Milwaukee - NYTimes Online

Eeenteresting reading

2008-09-25T08:58:00.003-05:00

I thought this article was pretty interesting (no, it's not a joke. It's really interesting!).

It's a study of how conservative- and liberal-thinking people view the world differently and not-so-differently:

What's the Difference Between a Conservative and a Liberal?

And this is also a good one if you're thinking more about the food you eat. The author takes a tour of how lots of kinds of meat go from animal to tasty meal:

Morality Bites

If you eat half a jar of salsa....

2008-09-22T19:10:00.006-05:00

Is the remaining jar half-full or half-empty?

Discuss.

Ah, Wilderness!

2008-09-21T19:12:00.002-05:00

September saw us getting out of the urban jungle for greener pastures - we were in Oregon, visiting friends Steve & Afton, in Seattle, visiting Grandma, and in Southwestern Wisconsin for fishing (location undisclosed, says the fishing one. Don't want any competition on the stream!)

The Northwest treated us to perfect sunshine for a full week - we hiked, biked, walked, drank too much coffee and just enough beer, and enjoyed the greenery with friends and family.

Seattle featured some time catching up on the family history with Grandma and enjoying sushi and seafood in various forms. Although we were in other cities, they just seem a lot greener than Chicago - it was nice to leave this city behind for some smaller, more relaxed ones.

Next on the agenda, the Fisherman headed to a not-so-secret location to start filming his series of commercials, and then to a top-secret location for some serious trout fishing.

And yes, he did then see an excellent production of 'Ah, Wilderness!' by Eugene O'Neill along the way.

Commuting was never so fun!

2008-08-20T13:39:00.005-05:00

Why just wait for the bus, when you can SWING for the bus?

Thoughts & prayers

2008-08-06T09:33:00.003-05:00

A good friend of mine has an adorable little boy (16 months old) who has very suddenly been diagnosed with a brain tumor. His mama and papa are just the sweetest, most lovely people in the whole world, and have very strong faith.

Surgery is tomorrow, so please keep him and their little family in your thoughts and prayers during the next week.

Ok, I admit it.

2008-07-26T12:44:00.001-05:00

I laugh at things like this now.

more cat pictures

Ditty for a bicycle commuter

2008-07-16T09:11:00.003-05:00

As you roared past me today in your giant SUV
I noted in '04 that you supported John Kerry.

Gratified though I may be to find a fellow cyclist-lover,
If he were biking near your car, you would have run him over.

People so talented I can't even stand it

2008-06-27T19:47:00.002-05:00

It's really meaningful when your friends support your art. We all know this. So here, I would like to take the opportunity to brag about two of our supremely talented musical friends who have both released CDs lately.

Both are very young and their music is probably as different as can be from the other...but there seemed to be a common theme of musical ability, so I just felt like they need all the promotion they can get. They're just tooooo good:

Capital X - Fresh off a tour in the UK, if you like electro, you must listen here. World, meet Capital X.

Caleb Hawley - Went to see him this week in Chi-town (yay for touring!) and now you too can enjoy his excellent songwriting via a new CD and his website.

Happy listening.

You know you're tired...

2008-06-16T14:59:00.002-05:00

...when you sleep through the alarm. For an entire hour.

Summer arrives

2008-06-02T20:05:00.006-05:00

Finally, after several weeks of rainy, cold, windy, and generally dank weather...summer has arrived here in Chi-town.

The flags are flying, the sun is beaming, birds are chirping, sidewalks are baking, the El is de-railing, Harleys are hogging, grills are grilling, the ice cream is screaming, and all is right with the world.

Now if only we could institute summer vacation for adults.....

Shameless friend promotion

2008-05-08T14:06:00.003-05:00

Our friend Matt got a byline from his writing in Lebanon before things started getting crazy:
NOW Lebanon Peace Ride

Congratulations, good sir. Goodnight, good luck....and stay safe.

Trunchbull!

2008-04-25T16:34:00.005-05:00

Remember Miss Trunchbull from Matilda?

I think her kinder, gentler twin teaches classes at our gym.

Guess which one?

Hot Bods.

Stilettos at 6 am

2008-04-18T08:51:00.002-05:00

Today in the wee hours of the morning, a woman sporting full make-up, freshly straightened hair, a fashionista-friendly ensemble, a steaming cup of coffee, and stiletto heels walked out of the gym before 7 am.

At the same time, just down the street, another one stumbled out her front door in workout wear and a hair-hiding hat, desperately trying to make it to the gym ONE morning in her lifetime.

Guess which one is me?

Happiness is a sunny windowsill.

2008-04-17T18:57:00.004-05:00

Place dropping

2008-03-29T17:00:00.002-05:00

Do you ever meet people that like to place drop? You know, like name dropping?

Twice in the last two weeks, I've met people who do this. Why? Do they think it will make me like them more? Do they think I care (1) how impressively long they've sat in an exotic airport? (2) whether they are sick of LA and its lovely weather, and (3) that this will make us BFF? Okay, I'm ranting here, I know, but there is a difference between saying 'Hey, once when I visited this place, I did this fun thing, and it was great,' or 'Yeah, when I travel, I've found that...' or 'I always wanted to go there.' There is a difference between talking about traveling and listing off endless places in the hopes that you will impress others into liking you.

I mean, I like traveling. Hey, I love it. I like talking about exotic trips and faraway places and dreaming about places I've never been. But what are these people thinking?? These words actually came out of someone's mouth:

Place dropper: 'You know, I think the average IQ on international flights is higher than the general public. I mean, everyone is just so much more well-rounded and interesting than everywhere else.'
Me: 'Um, that could be, but-'
PD: 'I mean, I've traveled SO MANY places and traveled SO MUCH, I mean, people who travel are just more worldly and intelligent and (continues talking incessantly about self and self's greatness and superiority to mere mortals...)
Me: Errr... (cringe.)

Sigh. End of rant.

Dangerous workout movies for saps

2008-03-17T09:15:00.002-05:00

I happen to be one of those people who cries in EVERY movie I see. For example, Shrek:

Fiona: But I wanted to be beautiful.
Shrek: You are beautiful.
Me: (Tear.)

I learned that it is very dangerous to watch these kinds of movies while on the treadmill at the gym. Acceptable workout fare includes Top Gear (lots of cars), Project Runway (lots of fashion, not too deep), Comedy Central (especially daily show) or Simpsons. They all pass the time and are light and funny.

One should NOT, I repeat, NOT watch movies involving the demise of a main character followed by emotional triumph. Maybe this time it was an effect of Helen Mirren, I'm not sure. Ooh, look. I am embarrassed to say that somewhere around mile 3 the following happened during Calendar Girls:

John: The flowers of Yorkshire are like the women of Yorkshire. Each phase of life is more beautiful than the last....
Me: (Sob. Breathe painfully. Unable to reach off button. Fall off treadmill. Look frantically for race car-related show...)

acronyms amok

2008-03-15T17:17:00.005-05:00

A few of you know I have started a new job at university, and that I have suddenly become very bad at answering emails, returning phone calls, and generally, um, being awake past 9 pm. I think it has to do with my new work environment: I'm learning so much, it makes my brain tired and jelly-like. It also may be related to the heavy use of acronyms.

Quotes like the following are common, and, even scarier to my English-major ears...have a real-life meaning. Some of you will be able to translate these and tell me why they don't make real sense. Feel free to add comments if you know what any of them mean.

I work on CMC, particularly successful modeling of ECAs and VPs.
Your email needs to be set for POP or IMAP. Have you checked the TWiki?
That program doesn't play the files because you need a new codec, like .jmf. Oh wait...here's an executable JAR file (Oh, goody!)
I'll try to ping him about the interface. He's in CS and we need to write some more scripts.

Pocky and mackerel

2008-02-18T20:34:00.003-06:00

In search of ingredients for pumpkin curry, I ventured into one of the many fantastic (and fantastically cheap) Asian grocery stores in our area - the first of many neighborhood adventures yet to come, I'm sure. On a Sunday afternoon the noodle houses were packed to bursting with gaggles of children and grandparents and I was almost ceremoniously run over by a few SUVs of happy-looking extended family gatherings. (We're still in the Midwest, after all).

They say Chicago is a city of neighborhoods, and in this case the neighborhood was only 6 blocks from my home. It was a surprising escape from mainstream America box stores. Huge styrofoam bins of frozen fish and clams were in the open air, shoppers with baskets chatted and squeezed past each other in the crows. One woman picked up a whole mackerel by the tail to inspect it, looking not unlike she was wielding a large fishy sword, while a man stuck his hands in a bin of dime-sized clams and kept reaching until he was up to his elbows in shellfish. Antennae spilled out of the sides of the bins in a shapes and sizes.

Well, if you know me, you know how I feel about fish in general. So I went on to the produce section, which was even more crowded and full of more people, attempting to manoever their mini-carts between the stacks of greens.

From there, I scouted out desserts, rice, and noodles of all varieties. Some products were labeled in English, by which I mean a phonetic English rendering of the Thai characters. (I was reminded of my Thai notebook that read: 'Be bear, let's cool!' One English word I was happy to see was Pocky, cookie-like sticks coated in chocolate that our friends sent us when they were living in Thailand. Mmmm.

I was poked in the rear with several passing lemongrass stalks before I found my lime leaves, but I did find the bean sprouts in a several-gallon tub. I looked around for some kind of tong-like implements, but there weren't any around and it didn't seem like the way the crowd was going. It was now my turn to go elbow-deep into a food I was planning on eating in a few hours.

I'll take the spouts over the seafood, anyway.

Feeling Glögg -y

2008-01-29T12:33:00.000-06:00

Our new neighborhood was originally settled by Swedish immigrants, so we're now walking distance from several Scandinavian attractions: a Swedish bakery (yum), the Swedish-American museum, and several places selling Glögg .

They all claim to have the best 'Glögg ' in town. I can't be sure, but one of the signs had a steaming cup of this Glögg substance. I've decided it must be an alcoholic fruity beverage served hot, similar to Gluhwein. Maybe 'glögg' is the noise made by the drinkers, satisfying their thirst for a toe-warming spirit. Mondays in January are making it seem pret-ty enticing right about now.

I think we'll have to see for ourselves. It's for the sake of culture, really....

happy burns night!

2008-01-25T10:00:00.000-06:00

To a Haggis - Robert Burns, ca. 1786

Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the pudding-race!
Aboon them a' yet tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy o'a grace
As lang's my arm.

Read the full poem...

And when you're done, enjoy a wee dram for us. (Especially you, Kenny!)

please do not mail

2008-01-18T11:30:00.000-06:00

An update on the silent killer situation...last night it returned, so we are now staying with friends. In the meantime, please don't mail us anything because we don't want it to get lost in the post.

Second of all, just in time for our heat to be cut off, Chicago Trib today starts with a leading article:
Chicago braces for a weekend of bitter cold

Can you feel the excitement? I can. We should know today if we get the apartment we're looking at or whether we go on the hunt again. Wish us well.

the silent killer

2008-01-14T18:59:00.000-06:00

Where to begin? Because our brains are a little tired, and perhaps affected by carbon monoxide poisoning, a list format will have to suffice:

1. We are moving again.

2. Again. Again. Again.

3. Please make sure you have a working carbon monoxide detector in your home and that you have no gas appliances in your bedroom. And don't let your management company make you feel stupid and then not give you replacement heaters for the ones in your bedroom that the gas company legally had to cut off, leaving you to call the gas company and the Chicago fire department for the 3rd time in 3 weeks on a Sunday night, and when you then have your gas in all rooms cut off because the CO levels have increased to 4x their original levels, so that the fire department won't even leave the premises until you agree to also leave, and then not give you any heaters to replace your now-cut-off gas until you call them absolutely insist that perhaps a night in Chicago with no heaters is a bit colder than one would like to be on the average wintry evening (let's start with 59 degrees , even with the teensy-weensy space heater running at full blast, shall we say? mmmm, toasty.) and then just when you sit down in your giant 0-degree poofy sleeping bag to relax for five minutes, your space heaters blow the fuse and your entire apartment is without any lights until you manage to fix it using the trial-and-error method with the fuses, all the while apologizing to your friend who happens to be staying with you after about 2 years of not seeing her.

4. Sigh.

Our Night Life (or, "The Gasman Cometh")

2008-01-05T02:49:00.001-06:00

At 1:45 AM K and I awoke to the sound of our carbon monoxide detector going off. (Yes we were asleep at 1:45 AM -- on a Friday night -- it's true.) I tried to reset the thing, but it continued to chirp. Turning the detector over, I tried to read the directions -- of course these were smudged and unintelligible.

I began to assess my level of health. No headaches. No nausea. No delirium. I came to the conclusion that it was just low batteries.

K (being the clearheaded "scholarly" one) thought we should go online to find out what the manufacturers instructions said. She found the website with the info and it basically confirmed that we should call the fire department.

(Great. Let's call the fire department at 2:15 in the morning on our second night in our new apartment.)

The non-emergency number in Chicago is 311 (I didn't learn that in school...).

Big time kudos to the Chicago Fire Department for their speedy response time! K and I didn't even have enough time to hang up the phone, get our jackets on, grab our belongings, and get downstairs before the CFD arrived. We escorted the 3 guys up to our place and they began using gadgets that looked like "Ghostbuster" tools. (I had to bite my tongue to keep from making "Venkman" jokes!)

The CFD guys did a thorough reading of the place and found nothing of major consequence. At most, they found a low reading of 13ppm of CO (get out your science books, kids!) Though the OSHA government health tolerance level is 50ppm, they had to call the gas company.

Kathleen and I decided to make a cup of tea and wait for the gas guys in the lobby. (Did you think we'd forget a cup of tea?!?)

Enter the gas company guys at 2:45AM. These guys were also very thorough and professional. They gave us the "all clear", and now at 3:10 AM, I am going to go bed.

So, thank you to the Chicago Fire Department, The Gassy Guys, and the Ghostbusters. (I hope to see you tomorrow.)