Recently I found myself having to re-take the most dreaded of all graduate school entry requirements: the GRE.
The first time I took the GRE was at (gulp!) 5 years ago, and I prepped by studying for more than 3 months. This time, I found out 4 weeks after I submitted my materials that apparently my score had been current at some earlier point during the application, but was not longer current. So, I got an email from the program...could I re-take the test? Could I do it next week?
I'm sure you can relate to that sinking feeling in your stomach, knowing that you have a surprise test, and haven't prepared. Or finding out you have to give a huge presentation with little warning.
I did the only think I could do. I hit the books - hard - for a week. I was a woman obsessed - and stressed. I didn't sleep well, I certainly didn't eat well, and I drank as much tea as I did when I was writing final papers in grad school. Ick.
My body has only 2 responses to extreme stress: (1) get sick to my stomach and (2) cry. Then I get over it and move on. On the day of the test, my psyche decided that (2) was the appropriate response, and about half-way up the elevator to the testing center, I started to feel the tears a'comin'.
For some reason, the self-talk started up: What are you doing? Do you think Hilary Clinton cries when she has to solve another world crisis? No! Did she cry when she lost the presidential nomination?! No! Get over it, sissy pants. It's just a test.
The tough self-talk seemed to work. The tears receded. I took the test. I didn't do extremely well, but I did as well as I had hoped. I didn't barf, and I moved on with my day.
So thanks, Hillary. For better or worse, I think you have more cajones than almost anyone I know.
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